The Ragamuffins

It’s another day in the country side. Cock and hen decide to have an advendure and subsequently enslave a duck, talk to pins and torture a landlord. Yes, the landlord gets poked, and… not in the head.

And why not? What’s wrong with being cruel? As the moral of this tale goes, lies and trickery save you lots of money and get you invited to the best parties.

Here’s some advice for your next pub outing.

The story is not a traditional fairy tale, but what we Germans call a “Schwank” (it’s not what you think it is, either), a funny, short tale meant to entertain and tease.

If you have a pin in your… nether regions, read more about this condition here.

The Wolf and the Seven Kids

And then there were none. Well, one. But hey, a visit from the big, bad wolf can be devastating, especially when he is armed with chalk and flour.

Fortunately one of the seven little kids is clever enough to hide in a clock. Oh, for the good old days of yore when that was still possible. In the days of the Apple Watch that little kid would have been a goner.

You still have no idea what I am talking about, right? Well, listen to this:

 

You can find more on Ludwig Bechstein, the dude with the all-round beard, here. If you’re getting tired of me bleating on about goats, read the story here.

Truly, men are like that!

Mary’s child

The Virgin Mary is a baby snatcher! Also, kings like dirty girls and sometimes your finger turns golden and no one cares. I’m serious!

Also known as Our Lady’s Child, this is the first time we enter Christian mythology in the Grimm tales. There will be more stories like this, where traditional religious symbolism is mixed in with worldly storytelling and superstition.

My favourite sentence: “One day, when all the angels had gone out…”. Yep, heaven’s pretty awesome, but sometimes an angel’s gotta hit the street and score a latte.

Feeling holier than thou? Read Mary’s Child here.